Borderline Personality Disorder
If someone asked me to describe my family, I would say it was a mess. Since I was a child, my parents have always had fights being not ashamed of dealing with each other’s issues in front of me. I would say that they have never thought about the possibility of me getting an emotional child’s trauma by seeing them behave like that. My mother would cry a lot in the bathroom, and the father would always leave our house to go to the bar to let the steam off. My childhood was full of screaming, shouting, and miserable memories. Therefore, I think I have an emotional control issue thanks to my parents’ reluctant attitude towards my perception and the lack of good parenting (Nolen-Hoeksema, 2013). I guess seeing my folks being so excited during fights have made me tolerant of this kind of behavioral patterns. I had grown up all by myself with my fears, emotions, and thoughts, and when I hit puberty, it was the worst time for me. I would say I have become just like my parents, being loud, emotional, angry, and expulsive.
It was obvious that something was wrong at home when my teachers kept dismissing me from classes because of my inappropriate expression of emotions. They said I was too rude, unfriendly, and even dangerous. I thought it was fine because teenagers have to deal with their hormones. It had been going on like that until the school principal made me see the school specialist, a psychiatrist. She was a very nice lady but with all her questions she was provoking something very violent in me. It was when I first started to think of myself as a psycho. I was so angry at myself and was not sure what to do next since I knew something was wrong with me regarding the mental health. Moreover, I had very dark thoughts. Later on, my best friend started avoiding me because I was too scary to be around, like a time bomb which might explode anytime only with emotions. I could easily switch from being a nice, friendly and loving person into a cold-blooded monster filled with hatred. So in addition to the whole bunch of feelings, I began to feel isolated and preferred to be accompanied only by myself. My parents didn’t notice it. Of course, they were too busy with their own stuff, especially mother, since her divorce was quite a great shock to recover from in a minute.
So, as I figured, I had a borderline personality disorder. The more I thought about it, the more frightened I was of myself. I started to have suicidal thoughts very often. As for my feelings, I was worried too much, very depressed and lonely. At this point of my life, I found relief in drugs and alcohol. The more agree I was with these bad habits, the more thought I dedicated to my future. It was clear that it was not bright; I kept thinking over the career path to pursue. A guidance counselor had always told me that it was unstable, and I had to reconsider my choices and set priorities, but that just made me madder (Nolen-Hoeksema, 2013).
The diagnosis is right because it is based on the sound use of diagnostic procedures and the symptoms presented. It was also made in a way that involved professional ethics within the practice of nursing, where the caregiver kept all assessments confidential. Although I have borderline personality disorder, interacting with others is helpful for me because it aids in learning more from peers. It is also a vital tool for creating a foundation for collaboration within nurses and healthcare providers. I also feel that interacting with others can help in dealing with mood swings.
Treatment has helped me in releasing emotional stress. It is also evident that its outcomes are positive because it is the only mode that has facilitated my emotional recovery from borderline personality disorder. I was prescribed therapy with one of the experts three times a week and also was asked if I would like to join a support group. At times I cry because of my state of psychological health and the next minute I am furious and very reckless. I am scared to hurt people around me and I want help. My doctor says it is possible for me to learn how to behave and control my emotions, especially if great accent is put on talk therapies where I will be asked to describe what I feel, why I feel that way and what do I think about it. With each session, I should learn how to reduce my impulsiveness, and I can say with assurance, I know much more about my condition before sessions. The doctor also says that it is a lifetime commitment for me to think about my actions and there is a possibility to become better and healthier (Lieber, 2016).
I realized that treatment and counselling sessions caused a change in the state of mental health, where initially, I had experienced concurrent emotions that could swing my moods and traumas that resulted from alterations in emotional feelings. However, the latter were relieved by the treatment (Lieber, 2016). I have learned that the greatest thing with regard to borderline personality disorder is that it can be treated with frequent therapy sessions.